Hello, dears, happy Lord's Day! Today I have something a little different to share with you. My best friend Emily and my other very dear friend Lily have been kind enough to help me out with an interview post. Learning about the lives of other people is always interesting to me and I thought this would be a fun way to “introduce” two of my favorite people to all of you!
You can find Emily at her blog, Rooted Scribbles, where she writes about life as a foster sister and member of the Bollenbacher family. Lily runs an Etsy shop and E-magazine that’s packed full of sunshine and encouragement. I know they’d both be honored if you checked out their sites! :D (Isn’t it fun to meet new, incredible people through the power of the internet? I’ve made so many friends through my homeschool forum, The Smile Project, and discovering various blogs.) (Wow, lots of links in this paragraph. Clicking on them all will result in a full browser of open tabs.)
Without further ado, let’s get to the interview questions!
Hey girls! First of all, who are you? What are your lives like?
Emily: I’m a sixteen year old gal who lives in the state of Ohio on a farm! I’m the second oldest of 6 kids, I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. I’m a homeschooled sophomore in high school who could potentially be graduating this year if everything works out. I play piano, participate in 4-H, run a blog, do lots of art and photography, and above all pursue Jesus with my life! My family also does foster care, which I’ll talk about in a second. My family planted a church in my city about 5 years ago. We're still a small community of 14 but we recently just bought a building that we’re planning on doing ministry in very soon! There’s a quick summary of little old me and my uneventful life at the moment. XD
Lily: I’m a fourteen-year-old girl who lives in the beautiful state of Michigan! One of the most beautiful things in life for me right now is being a foster sister to two amazing baby boys. These boys mean the world to me! My life is pretty simple, heheh. I’m going into ninth grade at the moment (I, like Emily and Alayna, am also homeschooled)!
What are some of your favorite things?
Emily: Oh goodness, it’s going to be hard to narrow it down to a handful of things! Well, I enjoy reading, blogging, movies, drawing, football (watching it on TV, not playing), music, thrift stores (how can you not like them?), pen paling, animals, photography, and hammocking!
Lily: Ahh, how am I expected to choose?? Some of my favorite things include summer weather, dogs (especially my dog, Penny), tea and a good book (yes, together in one package. But I’ll take them separately too! ;D), chatting with friends, chocolate, writing letters to my many, many pen pals, listening to music (The Gray Havens and Nichole Nordeman are two of my very favorites), singing anything and everything, writing stories, and swinging in the hammock.
How would you describe yourselves in 3 words?
Emily: Uhhhhhh…. *sits quietly for a long time* I’d say Christian, artistic, and observant? Haha, I don’t know, I guess that’ll work for now. :D
Lily: Daughter of Eve. Is that cheating?? It’s from C. S. Lewis’s Narnia series, and it’s basically a phrase meaning “human,” but it also means “Daughter of Christ,” if you know Lewis’s allegory for his books. Also, since it’s a Narnian phrase, I kind of think of it as a description of a dreamer. Not to mention a bookworm, since I’ve read Narnia (some of the books several times over!). ;D
Would you both mind sharing a bit about your families’ most recent foster placements? Do they have any specific challenges?
Emily: Well at the moment my family and I are just finishing up with our current placement. We had a sibling group of 3. Kylie* is 13, Tristan* is 6, and Norah* is 4 and they’d been with us since December 2020 and they have been a pretty difficult placement for us. They’d been living with a rich aunt for most of the younger two’s lives, and they were pretty spoiled when they came to us. When they didn’t get what they wanted or were disciplined things could get nasty. It was a struggle for me to watch as my parents and, occasionally, siblings were physically hurt by these kids. We all had to fight a battle every day to control everything we wanted to say and do to these kids. Things have gotten better after we got help from the foster care agency on how we should handle their tantrums but we’re still struggling. Custody was awarded to the state at the end of April this year and we’re not going to be adopting them. God has called my family to just do foster care and be the family where healing can happen before they go back to their family or move on to their new family. Currently, we aren’t planning on adopting any children unless the Lord makes it very clear that that is His will for us. It is always hard to find a family to adopt three children. There was this one family who wanted to adopt the two girls but was not able to adopt Tristan due to his behavior and the effect he had on their kids. For the girls to go to this family though we had to get the okay from the county to separate them from their brother and to do that we needed proof that separating them was what was best for the kids. After a few test runs of having the girls at a different home for a few days and Tristan at our house, we saw a whole ton of change in the two younger ones. It was very clear that separating them was going to be a good thing in the long run, though sad at first. The two girls have moved to their new family two weeks ago and they will be adopted in about 6 months! At the moment we’re still in the search of a family to take Tristan. One potential family said no due to some issues they had, and another family wanted to take him but they ended up getting some foster kids which resulted in them being unable to take him. Tristan will be leaving our house for sure by September 10th because that is when we said we could no longer have him living with us. We had been praying about whether we were going to continue with Tristan until an adoptive family was found (which was going to be 3-6 months) or say we weren’t able to continue and he needed to be moved elsewhere. After praying hard and getting insight from other believers we landed on Tristan being moved. We didn’t think we would be able to give him the love he needed and, in the end, we believed it would be harmful for him and us as a family. I was just informed a little while ago that there is a family who is going to be taking Tristan for a whole week to get to know him and might end up adopting him. This is the last potential family in our agency (which consists of a whole ton of solid, God-fearing sister families) that could take Tristan, so be praying hard that this family will feel a connection with him and want to make him a part of their family!
Lily: Currently, we have two foster boys. Z is 21mo and H is 10mo. And yes, their situation has a lotttt of challenges, hehe. We’ve had these boys for 10+ months and are not sure how long we will be keeping them, but we are fairly sure it will be a long time, if not forever. Communication with the biological parents is one of the biggest challenges we’ve had to deal with in this placement. I can’t really share many details, but there have been a lot of things that have been said that are not true, and a lot of frustrating confusions and complications.
What has God taught you through this journey?
Emily: That I cannot do anything on my own. I can’t control everything that happens and I shouldn’t even try. I need to give everything over to God because He is the only one who has any control over what is going to happen. And also that He is reliable and I can trust Him with everything. I relied on myself when it came to loving kids that were difficult to love, but when I leaned on Him and surrendered the control I wanted to have things were a lot easier.
Lily: Oh goodness. Many things. Throughout loads of anxiety and heartbreak, God has taught me that he has a plan, even if it isn’t the plan that we thought he had. There are many times that I’ve stopped and said, “Why, God, do you have to do this to us?” The answer is, because it is for his glory, and our good. His plans are always good, and I, as a human, can’t always see that.
What are the best and worst parts of being a foster sister?
Emily: The best part is knowing that you’re having a huge impact on the kids. That (hopefully) they will leave your home being forever changed, and that their time living with you will be forever treasured.
The worst part… probably all the pain and emotion you feel when you give them back to their parents or new adoptive family. During their time with you you’ve grown a strong affection for them and when they leave a piece of your heart leaves with them.
Lily: One of the best parts is watching these kids grow and seeing them develop because they’re given proper love and care. Watching them come out of a terrible situation and seeing what amazing and beautiful kids they are growing into is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced. However, of course, the worst part is (no, not dirty diapers, though that’s close) watching them leave and not knowing what their life will be like or who they will turn into as they grow up.
What is something you’ve wrestled with in your walk with Jesus?
Emily: Well, foster care has caused a lot of wrestling in my life but since I’ve already talked about it a good amount I’ll share something else… In 5th and 6th grade I struggled with some pretty evil things and they caused a lot of pain in my life. With the help of the Holy Spirit and my loving parents I turned from evil but it left a lot of wounds in my life that I’ve slowly had to heal from. It was a fight to run from evil but with a bunch of prayer and the forcing of actions I didn’t want to take at the time, God helped me to leave behind the sin in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with past memories and thoughts but Jesus has filled my heart and mind with better, purer things and is purifying my life more and more as each day passes.
Lily: Many things! One thing I’ve especially had a hard time with is simply trusting in Him. During the times when we were unsure about where our foster boys were going to end up, or if they’d be well-cared for, I have struggled with just giving it all to God and saying, “it’s in Your hands.” But time and time again, he shows his faithfulness to my family, and to these boys, and slowly he is helping me to trust more in him every day.
If you could each say one thing to 20+ girls and young women (which you are doing right now ;D) what would you say?
Emily: Jesus loves you and chose to be His. He never makes a mistake in who He chooses as His own. You have a purpose in this world so smile, laugh, and bring joy to others. Overall, your relationship with God is so, so important, so please, grow and nurture that relationship. Read your Bible, pray, sing songs to Him, just sit in His presence.
Those were a few big ideas but they fit in one paragraph (although they probably shouldn’t have) so it’s fiiiiine XD
Lily: I know things seem tough. Those times when you sit and cry and you feel like you’re drowning, it’s tough. When you can’t be in control of a terrible situation. When you feel scared for yourself or for those around you. But let me tell you--do not ever give up. This world is sinful and messed up and broken into a thousand pieces, but God will make it alright again one day. He is in control, even if it seems like there is no hope. Trust in him.
Thanks again for sharing, my friends! God has placed you both in such unique positions and I know He will continue using you in ways you can't even imagine right now. I'm so thankful to have you as friends. <3
That's all for now, my dears, my ramble-readers! Thanks for reading, and as always feel free to comment/message me privately, I love chatting with all of you. Have a great day!
(P.S.- Still working on my email list... hopefully you guys got an email about this one? And if any of you got multiple emails, sorry about that 😅)